35: Meghan, Princess People Pleaser Sets Boundaries: Part 3 of Harry and Meghan

Mary: Let’s talk boundaries. I’m here with my sister Chime in real life.

Chime: Hello, miss Mary. 

Mary: Hey we are on vacation in Florida. I’m on vacation in Florida. Chime lives in Florida and so I’ve been staying with her and spending time with family. And today we are talking about Meghan. 

Chime: The princess of people pleasing.

Mary: Yes, we’ve decided to call her Princess People Pleaser. And in the docu-series, which I hope you all have watched and are following along with this podcast series, you will see Meghan as an example of people pleasing. Yeah. 

Chime: Yeah. So, and how it works for her and then it doesn’t. 

Mary: That’s right. When it works for her and when it doesn’t, which is most of our experiences, if you like me, have a history of people pleasing, there will be times when it works for you and then it won’t. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So let’s talk about Meghan. So she grew up as a people pleaser. 

Chime: Yes. So 

Mary: Even as a child.

Chime: Yes. They describe her as a child and very people pleasing scenarios. You know, she has divorced parents, she gets along with everyone. She doesn’t ruffle any feathers. And then they do talk about her and suits and so there was a quote, I think it’s from the producer. Yeah. And her best, one of her best friends. 

Mary: And the quote is that Meg’s nature is never to make things difficult for anyone.

Chime: I mean, that’s a people pleaser. 

Mary: Yeah. Yeah. She’s super easy to get along with and really likable and yeah, just easygoing. And so that nature served her well and that is how she came into the royal family. Yes. Yeah. So when she first got into the Royal family she did things like only wear muted colors. 

Chime: Yeah. She was like, I’m just gonna fade into the background in my camel.

Mary: Yeah. I’ll wear like whites or nude or tan. Maybe camel. So, because you know, the queen wears bright colors. And she didn’t wanna compete in any way. So she just wore muted colors. Well, that’s an example of people pleasing and, and then there were more intense and difficult types of people pleasing. So her situation with her family?

Chime: Yeah. So she had a niece who she adored, Ashley. They were really more like sisters and when they were getting married there was all of this drama around two members of her family. One was her dad and one was her half sister, who she did not have a relationship with. 

Mary: She had some what of a relationship but not close.

Chime: Yes, yes. Yeah, they saw each other on occasion, but hadn’t talked in years and years. 

Mary: That was a big age gap. 

Chime: Correct. And Ashley is the daughter of this half-sister. Yes. And so the royal secretary, who is the person who works with each family member in the royal family and tells them what they should and shouldn’t do.

Mary: Advises them. 

Chime: Yeah. Advises them and said, you need to cut ties with Ashley because she’s the half sister of this person who is having all of these issues within the media. 

Mary: Samantha Markle. 

Chime: Yes. And so she did. Yeah. She cut ties with Ashley.

Mary: And it was heartbreaking for both of them, it was really difficult because they had an emotional connection with each other. 

Chime: Yes. And Ashley was not causing any drama in the media and wasn’t saying bad things. But because of her association with her mom, who she actually didn’t have much of a connection with either she was advised to cut ties with, it was very sad.

Mary: Mm-hmm. And so she followed that advice. As she was trying to become a member of this family and it really hurt her.

Chime: That was a hard relationship for her to lose. 

Mary: Yeah. And then things went down with her dad. And there she continued to follow the advice of the Royal Secretary until the letter was leaked. 

Chime: Yes. So the Royal Secretary said, we’re having all these issues with your dad and the media. Write this letter cuz that’s the only way you can get in contact with him to see if he’ll stop his shenanigans. 

Mary: Stop the shenanigans. Yes. 

Chime: But the letter gets leaked. They don’t even know if the Dad ever saw the letter. Shenanigans continue. And then it was the people pleasing, she was like, this isn’t working for me anymore. 

Mary: That’s right. That’s when she knew it wasn’t working anymore. 

Chime: Yes. Because there was so much backlash on her for writing the letter. And they picked these tidbits out of the letter, which wasn’t the letter in entirety. And she’s, she’s kind of pissed about it. 

Mary: Yep. And she was like, this is not working. She was doing everything that she could. And it just wasn’t working. 

Chime: And so leaking of the letter was illegal. You’re not allowed to leak a personal letter in the media. And so she wants to go after the media company who did this, and the Royal Secretary says, we don’t advise that. And she is like, no, no, I’m not gonna just listen to this advice. Your advice has not always been great, and she’s gonna do what feels good to her and her personal values, and so she sues the media.

Mary: She sues the media. That’s the turning point where she stopped people pleasing. Because it wasn’t working. And she decided to sue the media. And so that was the turning point for her. And I’m proud of you, Meghan, for suing the media. 

Chime: Yeah. Yeah. It was a very hard lawsuit too. Yeah.

Mary: Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes. And then she was able to reconcile with Ashley. And reconnect and kind of have that close family relationship that she always wanted again and when she went on Oprah, when they did the interview on Oprah. One thing I do kind of still notice, which I love actually about her, is she was very careful not to speak ill of William or Harry’s family members. Yes. Yeah. So she has a strong desire to have her side of the story be told. 

Chime: So, you know, when we were watching the docu-series, she kind of, it always went back to this like, I tried so hard, like this was a big theme for her. Like, I tried so hard, which I think is true for a lot of people pleasers because they try so hard, and they’re so wrapped up in all of this work of people pleasing. 

Mary: It’s a lot of work. It’s exhausting, exhausting work. People pleasing is. 

Chime: Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So she, you know, in the docu-series, it was a big theme for her. She just wanted people to know how hard she tried.

Mary: That’s right. That’s right.

Chime: Which is a little bit of people pleaing. 

Mary: She’s still got it in her. I know. She’s still got it in her. Yes. Yeah. That’s right Meghan, if you ever hear this, I can help you with that little last part. So she still wants people to understand her perspective and how hard she’s tried. But she was very happy when they won the lawsuit. 

Chime: Yeah. Yeah. It’s a little like 

Mary: vindicating. 

Chime: Yeah. Yeah. That’s the word. 

Mary: Yes. Vindicated. So, and now Meghan is, we’re in colors. 

Chime: Yes, she is. 

Mary: Yeah. So that was kind of the fun, like at the end where she started wearing whatever colors you wanna wear.

Chime: I know she, they did her last little bit of royal duties back in England and she was like, I’m going in all colors. Bright green. Bright blue.

Mary: That’s right. Mm-hmm. Good job Meghan. Be out there with your colors on. Yep. Awesome. We’ll stay tuned. Next episode, we’re gonna dive into the family business of being royal and we’ll see you then.