My Story

Watch this video to hear Mary's story of becoming a coach!

I grew up in a big, huge family. There were five boys, four girls, two parents, and zero boundaries. We did things like wear each other’s clothes, eat off each other’s plates, and sign each other’s report cards. 😉

When someone was upset, we were encouraged to stop whatever we were doing and go “see about them” until we made them feel better. I learned to take responsibility for other people’s feelings.

I didn’t know that I had no boundaries - I just wanted to be helpful and nice.

I went to college and dated a guy who really liked me. He wanted to get married, so I said “…yeah.” The marriage advice I received was to take care of him, try to make him happy, and put his needs before my own.

I was really good at putting his needs first, and I tried hard to make him happy. He was also really good at putting his needs first and trying to make himself happy.

There I was, taking care of everybody else, and I just couldn't understand why no one was taking care of me.

I started to feel resentful of the people around me, even good people who I loved. That’s the problem with having no boundaries: we end up hating the people that we love.

Mary Brown Boundaries Coach

Then, I had a child and everything changed.

During those first few days in the hospital with my newborn, I just remember thinking that this baby was so precious, so SO valuable. Even though they had just been born and hadn’t done anything yet to earn their worth, I knew they were valuable.

Then, the thought occurred to me...
“Oh, my goodness...if my child was born valuable, then what about me? What about each of us?”

I came to the conclusion that, just like my newborn, I was born valuable and so was everyone else. I didn’t have to earn my value by taking care of everyone else – my value was a part of me already. I knew then that I needed to change the way I treated myself and the way I allowed others to treat me.

My journey to healthy boundaries had three steps:

  1. First, I had to decide what was ok for me and not ok for me.
  2. Second, I learned how to communicate my boundaries with compassion.
  3. Third, I figured out how to follow through with my boundaries and practice real self-care.

Testimonials

"I got so much more out of my free coaching call with Mary than I anticipated.

She taught me a simple technique for setting boundaries with a particular person in my life, and I still use it, many months later."

- A. L.

“I attended one of Mary’s workshops looking for actions and insights that were practical to real life, and it was extremely valuable!

I like how Mary invites people to focus on their reasons for doing things - it’s easier to make changes when you know your why! So fun AND helpful.”

- Tami Parker

"Coaching with Mary helped me to diminish my negative self-talk and my self-defeating attitude."

"Now, I'm thinking so much more positively – Mary has changed the projection of my life!"

- K. A.